An intimacy gap? Exploring US men’s experience with and capacity for physical intimacy in their same-sex friendships

Abstract: Despite research linking touch to closeness and intimacy in interpersonal relationships, few studies have explored patterns and practices of touch in men’s same-sex friendships. Given the benefits of close relationships for well-being, such research is essential in a context where adverse mental and physical health outcomes have risen among men. This study deployed a novel measure of physical intimacy in an online survey of 467 predominantly White (64.9%), 18–65 year old (M = 30.8, SD = 10.6) men in the United States to capture men’s subjective intimacy ratings of 62 discrete touch behaviors, assess men’s experience with and capacity for physical intimacy in their same-sex friendships, and explore associations between attachment, masculinity, and physical intimacy outcomes. Results revealed significant gaps between the amount of platonic and sexualized physical intimacy men experience in their same-sex friendships and the amount they report being open to. The platonic intimacy gap was present for men from all four generational cohorts (i.e., Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X, and Baby Boomers)—though results revealed differences in gap size by generation. The sexualized intimacy gap was smaller but consistent across all cohorts except Baby Boomers. Regression models found attachment, normative male alexithymia, homohysteria, masculinity contingency, and multiple demographic factors to be associated with our physical intimacy outcomes. Differences between platonic and sexualized physical intimacy are explored in this regard. Results are discussed in terms of intervention-ready behaviors and barriers and facilitators to touch in men’s same-sex friendships.

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